Hope in the Darkness
by papyrusrex
Summary: "It just seems more real today, you know?" James calms Lily's fears about the future on their first night at Godric's Hollow.


_But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view  
and we'll live a long life._

* * *

James Potter joined his wife beneath the covers of their bed. She didn't glance at him like she always did. His sight lingered, studying her.

She was staring at an unknown spot in front of her, eyes unfocused. Her hands were at the ends of her dark red hair. Auburn, that's what she always called it. Her small fingers twirled the ends, tying and untying loose knots.

He sighed.

She'd been like that while they unpacked their boxes and settled down in their new home. It was always when she thought he wasn't looking. She should've learnt by now that he always is.

"Hey," he said. "What's wrong?"

"It's not exactly a bedtime story that I'm thinking about," she murmured.

"I'm sure we've had worse nights than whatever it is," he smiled. "You can tell me."

"I'm scared," admitted Lily. She sighed. "It's just me being stupid, really. It's nothing to worry about."

"Why are you scared?" He ignored her dismissal and asked, even if they both knew what she was talking about. It seemed most of their conversations led to it recently.

"The war. Look at the Prewett twins a few weeks ago… Who's next? " Her voice was cracked and barely above the crickets' calls. "I've always been, really. It just seems more real today, you know?"

"I know," he said. He held her hand. "Is that what you were thinking about today? Like when you were on the doorway, watching Harry and I play?"

Lily nodded. "I just can't stop worrying about him, James. What if something happens to Harry? You know how interested he is in him."

James sighed. There was no doubt on who 'he' was.

He knew what she meant. It had crossed his mind while they were packing their belongings. His worries had become parasites in his mind. He always worried for his loved ones, but with Lily and Harry... It was something he couldn't easily shake off.

Her eyes met his. It was all he needed to understand that her voice wasn't the only thing breaking.

It was one of her rare moments of weakness. And after all this time, he's learnt that she doesn't need to share her worries, but to calm them.

"Come here," he said. She welcomed his arms and he hoped she could find their familiar comfort. "We're not going to lose the war."

"But-"

"I refuse to believe it. He can't be immortal," he said. "No one is."

"What about Harry?" asked Lily.

"I'll tell you what will happen to Harry. I have it all planned out," he said.

"You and your plans," she sighed.

"I'm a planner," he shrugged. "All hell breaks loose when I improvise."

"It still does when you plan things."

"Lily, could I tell you about my plan for Harry? You'll kind of ruin the current plan if you don't listen."

"Which one is that?"

"The one where I make you feel better," he said, stroking her hair. She hid her sad smile in his old shirt. "Look, here's how his life will go. Harry seems to like the country more than the city, so we'll just stay here in dear, old Godric's Hollow. One of these days we'll notice he'll have to start Muggle school. He'll do whatever they do there and he'll make friends. He'll learn to fly on a broom and we'll all go to the Catapults matches. Before we know it, he'll be eleven and leaving for Hogwarts. You'll try not to cry when the train leaves. He'll be sorted into Gryffindor-"

"Or wherever the Hat decides he belongs," she interrupted.

"Which is in Gryffindor." He smiled as she failed to hide her grin. "He'll get lost during those first months in the castle. He'll make friends who accept him as he is and learn to love him. He'll eventually join the Quidditch team as a Seeker."

"This again?" she groaned.

"He has a Seeker's build. I'm telling you, Lily, with my genes and some practice, he would be amazing."

She scoffed. "You're impossible."

"Anyway, he'll mess around with his friends. Get in trouble, have fun," he continued.

"But not too much," she interrupted.

"Define too much."

"You and Sirius," smiled Lily.

"I'm sorry, but I recall you being in lots of trouble throughout your Hogwarts years."

"That was different. You two welcomed it!"

"Details. And you're distracting me," he said. "He can invite his friends over on the summers. They'll always be welcome. You'll bake him a cake for his 17th birthday party. His friends will come over, there will be some drinks. Before you interrupt, it'll be nothing too crazy. He'll have good O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s. We'll be proud of him. He'll also have lots of girlfriends-"

"James-"

"Once he's thirty." Lily laughed. "He'll meet a lovely girl and will marry her. Again, once he's thirty. But all of that isn't so important, Lily. He can change things in the plan, if he wants to. You want to know what actually is important?"

"What?"

"Harry will grow up without shadows of the war. He'll have us to support him with every decision he makes. He'll be happy, which will make both of us happy. We'll all be happy, the three of us," he whispered. They stayed as they were, thinking about his words, until he broke the silence. "You like this plan, or would you like to change something?"

"No, I like this one," she mumbled.

"We'll do our best to make it work, then." And even if he knew he shouldn't, he said, "I promise."

She also knew he shouldn't have promised, but said nothing except a "Thank you."

It didn't take long for him to feel her breaths slow and even down. He didn't have the same luck as her. He tried to believe his own words. They'd seemed to have served their purpose, that of calming Lily's worries. But they'd seemed to have awaken his some of own again.

He only hoped his plan would turn out as he hoped it would, just for once. It would kill him if it didn't.

* * *

_A/N: The lyrics at the beginning are from the Mumford & Sons song Ghosts That We Knew, as well as the title. All rights belong to Marcus Mumford and his sons. (Well, to his bandmates Ted, Winston, and Ben. Not his sons, I think. I don't know if copyright extends like that.) It's a very beautiful song. I would recommend you listen to it, if you'd like. If so, both live at Red Rocks or live at Letterman are amazing. _

_Thanks for Adriana (theshelleyboatsucks on tumblr) for helping me out with the cleaning process here. Very much appreciated. _

_Cheers. -A_


End file.
